Back Up Plans, Not Friends

In life, we are taught to plan.  We're also taught to have a back up plan in case the original or ideal plan doesn't work out.  Some people apply that approach to people.  I disagree with this.  Unlike a travel itinerary or a work plan, people are special creatures with feelings and emotions.  When it comes to people, it's just not right or kind to treat people like they're just filler and disposable if your plan A doesn't goes as planned.

I'm coming to realize that there are some people in my own life who regard me as a back up plan.  I'm only contacted when there's a free moment in between their other planned gigs.  They only seem to want to hang out when other friends are busy or if they need someone to hang out or talk  with until their other friends become available.  Never any original invitations and quick to cancel if their preferred plans come through.  I will be honest that it's really hurtful. Like almost makes me want to cry hurtful.  However, it encompasses lessons that are vital to growth and wisdom in life.  First, it's not you, it's them. Remember that. People who in essence use other people are just not kind individuals.  Second, once their true colors are revealed and you realize this, you have to decide what to do about it.  I firmly believe in the quote "What you allow is what will continue."  We don't have to be victims or throw pity parties.  We also don't have to seek revenge.  The best way to stand up for yourself is to actually stand up for yourself.  Show people that you will NOT be a back up plan.  If they can't find time or desire to make or keep plans with you, then they don't deserve your time or energy either. People who genuinely care about you will find time and ways to show it. We're all busy and the commitment can mean different things but it's the commitment to maintaining the friendship that matters.   The other thing you have to do is forgive.  It's easy to be angry or sad but you've got to release it because anger only hurts you not them.  Keep in mind every situation is different but these are general principles that can be applied.

So back to me, today I conclude my day not with sadness but with clear perspective and forgiveness.  I exhale negative energy from my life and inhale sincerity, positivity and love back in.