Stress Awareness: Drop the Mic...but don't!

Hello my readers! This is post # 2 in my series of Stress Awareness Month postings. I originally had a different topic in mind but we all know life dictates our decisions. Beginning with last week's introductory post, I plan to explore common ways we stress out and tips, articles, and suggestions to reign victorious!

Now to the title of this post. When you hear the expression "drop the mic", that references making a fierce point that leaves no room for interpretation. You know, you are in a debate and you make such a case that it leaves the other person silent, as in they literally have no comeback. Well, when it comes to public speaking, most people would rather drop the mic and literally run out the door.  It's so bad that it's officially a condition called glossophobia.

So why is this so stress-inducing? This anxiety affects people at different levels, whether you are an extrovert or an introvert.  In some cases, I think it's a fear of being judged/ridiculed, fear of failure, lack of confidence on the topic or with the audience, uncertainty, and/or all of the above.
Now I actually enjoy public speaking.  It's weird because I will be so nervous before I begin but once I do, it's a thrill.  Granted my dream career was broadcast journalism (oh, deferred dreams!) so I've always envisioned myself in front of a camera.  I've also been a tour guide, so I'd say  What helps me conquer the sweat and stomach churns is preparation, practice, and pizazz.  Let's break it down!

• Preparation- I believe in researching your topic to the high heavens!  When you're confident in what you're speaking about, nerves may ruffle you but won't be able to break you down. You've got this.  Jot down your bullet points and use those as a helpful guide (and not a crutch).  Even the most seasoned speakers use an outline and even if they never reference it, it's available.  There is no shame in glancing down at notes or if it's an interactive presentation (PowerPoint), reading from slides.  However, you want to rehearse so that you can find the sweet spot of content, delivery, and connection with your audience.  Which brings me to...

• Practice- We all know the ways from our days of school presentations.  Note cards, in front of a mirror, in front of family, etc.  When you're an adult, sometimes those options aren't always available.  I believe in running through your presentation first on your own, with someone you trust to give you honest and constructive feedback, and then again on your own incorporating the honest and constructive feedback.  Honest and constructive being the key.  You don't want someone to just lie to you to make you feel good nor someone who is so critical that you lose the confidence you just gained from your preparation.  If you have a nervous habit (shaking hands, voice quivering), recognize that and think about ways you can manage these habits.  For voice quivers, you're likely not breathing properly, so rehearse your breathing.  If you look down alot, practice your eye contact at specific points in your presentation.  Just as you practice your content, you should also incorporate how to be relaxed.  The human brain can store a wealth of information and thoughts, it's amazing!

• Pizazz- Find a way to make a presentation uniquely you.  Even in business settings, you can do this.  We are all perfectly different.  Remember, the majority of people feel nervous and the people who are listening can identify and likely trust you as a source! 

Think about the best presentations you've heard, what did you enjoy about them?  What are the strengths?  Public speaking is a skill and I believe we can all learn to find comfort with it.  Even if you manage to avoid it, at some point you'll have to likely talk in a group setting.  It's natural to feel nervous and stress out but let that be the motivation.  If you make a mistake during your presentation, simply address it with a clarifying remark or just move on.  It will take time and practice but in time, you will get better at it.  Just keep your head up and keep trying!

Check out this Mayo Clinic article with excellent tips: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/phobias/expert-answers/fear-of-public-speaking/faq-20058416

Don't stress...live, learn, and live inspired!

Less Attitude, More Gratitude

Hello my dear readers!

Today I found myself beginning to throw a pity party despite my best efforts not to.  I woke up with prayer and positive vibes and what do you know? Before I even began the busiest part of my day, negativity started to creep in.  I shared some of these thoughts with a family member who listened briefly and then asked "What are you doing to better the situation?"  Don't you just love family members and friends who keep you in check? :-)  But it got me thinking on how easy it is to complain and complain while not trying as hard as we can be.  When it comes to the things I was complaining about, I have been trying and patience is half the battle.  However, if I look carefully, I haven't truly been devoting all of my resources and energy to making things better, so ultimately I could be doing a lot more.  There are many things in life that you can't control, require perseverance or are at times unfair.  However, what most motivational speakers and authors will tell you is that you must keep working harder.  It may seem like you have to work so much harder than others and maybe you do, maybe you don't.  In any event, you've got to work to enhance that which you can control!

So what can one do to better a situation?  Every case is different but I think my points below best refer to working towards a goal.

1) Go all in-  It sounds simple and it should be but believe me it's not so easy!  Whether it's the new gig you want, the healthy lifestyle/image you want, or whatever, you truly have to work hard.  I've been reading blogs and articles of people who've attained things that I dream of and the number one thing they had in common?  They were relentless in going for it.  For example, if you want to make a dream your lifestyle, you can't just wish for it or put some energy into it, you've go to go all in!  That may require some creativity but you just have to be willing to work hard and for a long period of time.  Nothing worthwhile comes in a day!

2) Be patient- Whoever said that patience is a virtue was not joking!  Doors close and they remain closed and sometimes it doesn't make sense for a long time, if at all.  Through it all, exercise trust that your good intentions will be rewarded and remain calm.  Brighter days will come!


3) Have gratitude-  Being thankful for what you do have while working towards what you want can be challenging.  However, I believe that appreciation spawns better energy and greater opportunities.  If you sulk and complain daily, you are not only putting out negative vibes but you're likely also stressing and affecting your health negatively. 

I hope this helps!  Remember, it's impossible not to complain or feel bad when things don't go right.  It's natural.  The point is don't stay there!

Back Up Plans, Not Friends

In life, we are taught to plan.  We're also taught to have a back up plan in case the original or ideal plan doesn't work out.  Some people apply that approach to people.  I disagree with this.  Unlike a travel itinerary or a work plan, people are special creatures with feelings and emotions.  When it comes to people, it's just not right or kind to treat people like they're just filler and disposable if your plan A doesn't goes as planned.

I'm coming to realize that there are some people in my own life who regard me as a back up plan.  I'm only contacted when there's a free moment in between their other planned gigs.  They only seem to want to hang out when other friends are busy or if they need someone to hang out or talk  with until their other friends become available.  Never any original invitations and quick to cancel if their preferred plans come through.  I will be honest that it's really hurtful. Like almost makes me want to cry hurtful.  However, it encompasses lessons that are vital to growth and wisdom in life.  First, it's not you, it's them. Remember that. People who in essence use other people are just not kind individuals.  Second, once their true colors are revealed and you realize this, you have to decide what to do about it.  I firmly believe in the quote "What you allow is what will continue."  We don't have to be victims or throw pity parties.  We also don't have to seek revenge.  The best way to stand up for yourself is to actually stand up for yourself.  Show people that you will NOT be a back up plan.  If they can't find time or desire to make or keep plans with you, then they don't deserve your time or energy either. People who genuinely care about you will find time and ways to show it. We're all busy and the commitment can mean different things but it's the commitment to maintaining the friendship that matters.   The other thing you have to do is forgive.  It's easy to be angry or sad but you've got to release it because anger only hurts you not them.  Keep in mind every situation is different but these are general principles that can be applied.

So back to me, today I conclude my day not with sadness but with clear perspective and forgiveness.  I exhale negative energy from my life and inhale sincerity, positivity and love back in.