That Castle Kind of Life

Transition- the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another.

Right now, I'm currently undergoing a period of transition.  This really is a year of growth and change.  I'm so ready for the new!  Believe me, change isn't always easy but if you never evolve, you always stay the same. And do you really want to look back 5 years from now and see the same version?  Changes can be tough because sometimes you have to let go of unhealthy habits/situations but in the end I definitely think it's worth it.  We all enter a phase in life where we seek clarity, purpose, and foundation in our lives, whether it's with goals, jobs, friendships, or love. 

Let me focus on the love side of things for a minute.  I've been watching one of my favorite YouTube vloggers, Naptural85, and I love the relationship she and her husband have.  They're both young (I'm pretty sure I'm around the same age as them) and have a beautiful daughter but what I love about their dynamic the most is that it's rooted in love.  Yes, this is turning into a relationship post.  I guess it's been on my mind lately!  Friendship has to be the core of any relationship but love and trust (transparency) are the other critical parts as well.  In anything we do, there's gotta be a foundation.  Sand castles are fun but are temporary and get knocked down so easily whereas a castle made of bricks will withstand the stormy weather and is lasting. Everyone is down to help you play with sand, only a select few want to lay down bricks with you.  Remember! The word commitment is scary to some but to me it just means having loyalty and focus and going from there.  Commitment shouldn't mean lockdown!  It's not prison, it should be something you actually want :-)  Looking back, I can see where I was in situations that were bricks and sand or even just straight up sand.  However, the wisdom that I've gained only encourages me that I will build the castle that I'm dreaming of.  All of that comes in time and, as is a theme in many of these posts, you just have to be ready.  You can't be pressured into it and in retrospect I've felt pressure and  possibly even applied the pressure in the past.  Where is this post going? LOL. I'm bringing it back! 



Speaking of castles, here I am in Carcassonne, France.  The castle I'm in front of dates back to Medieval times!

The point of today's post is that life is all about transition and timing.   Everything in its right place and time. I look back on many parts of life and see where perhaps things were just not meant to be even despite my best efforts and deepest dedication.  And that's OK.  Sometimes you don't know what you've got until it's gone and sometimes you don't know how you'll grow until you move on!  Let it go.  It's all about embracing the journey and living with love, integrity, and honesty.  When there are no questions about your intentions, the answers are always clear.  That applies to all areas of our lives.  Stay positive!

Evolve by Mya- I love this song!

Back Up Plans, Not Friends

In life, we are taught to plan.  We're also taught to have a back up plan in case the original or ideal plan doesn't work out.  Some people apply that approach to people.  I disagree with this.  Unlike a travel itinerary or a work plan, people are special creatures with feelings and emotions.  When it comes to people, it's just not right or kind to treat people like they're just filler and disposable if your plan A doesn't goes as planned.

I'm coming to realize that there are some people in my own life who regard me as a back up plan.  I'm only contacted when there's a free moment in between their other planned gigs.  They only seem to want to hang out when other friends are busy or if they need someone to hang out or talk  with until their other friends become available.  Never any original invitations and quick to cancel if their preferred plans come through.  I will be honest that it's really hurtful. Like almost makes me want to cry hurtful.  However, it encompasses lessons that are vital to growth and wisdom in life.  First, it's not you, it's them. Remember that. People who in essence use other people are just not kind individuals.  Second, once their true colors are revealed and you realize this, you have to decide what to do about it.  I firmly believe in the quote "What you allow is what will continue."  We don't have to be victims or throw pity parties.  We also don't have to seek revenge.  The best way to stand up for yourself is to actually stand up for yourself.  Show people that you will NOT be a back up plan.  If they can't find time or desire to make or keep plans with you, then they don't deserve your time or energy either. People who genuinely care about you will find time and ways to show it. We're all busy and the commitment can mean different things but it's the commitment to maintaining the friendship that matters.   The other thing you have to do is forgive.  It's easy to be angry or sad but you've got to release it because anger only hurts you not them.  Keep in mind every situation is different but these are general principles that can be applied.

So back to me, today I conclude my day not with sadness but with clear perspective and forgiveness.  I exhale negative energy from my life and inhale sincerity, positivity and love back in.