Stress Awareness: Drop the Mic...but don't!

Hello my readers! This is post # 2 in my series of Stress Awareness Month postings. I originally had a different topic in mind but we all know life dictates our decisions. Beginning with last week's introductory post, I plan to explore common ways we stress out and tips, articles, and suggestions to reign victorious!

Now to the title of this post. When you hear the expression "drop the mic", that references making a fierce point that leaves no room for interpretation. You know, you are in a debate and you make such a case that it leaves the other person silent, as in they literally have no comeback. Well, when it comes to public speaking, most people would rather drop the mic and literally run out the door.  It's so bad that it's officially a condition called glossophobia.

So why is this so stress-inducing? This anxiety affects people at different levels, whether you are an extrovert or an introvert.  In some cases, I think it's a fear of being judged/ridiculed, fear of failure, lack of confidence on the topic or with the audience, uncertainty, and/or all of the above.
Now I actually enjoy public speaking.  It's weird because I will be so nervous before I begin but once I do, it's a thrill.  Granted my dream career was broadcast journalism (oh, deferred dreams!) so I've always envisioned myself in front of a camera.  I've also been a tour guide, so I'd say  What helps me conquer the sweat and stomach churns is preparation, practice, and pizazz.  Let's break it down!

• Preparation- I believe in researching your topic to the high heavens!  When you're confident in what you're speaking about, nerves may ruffle you but won't be able to break you down. You've got this.  Jot down your bullet points and use those as a helpful guide (and not a crutch).  Even the most seasoned speakers use an outline and even if they never reference it, it's available.  There is no shame in glancing down at notes or if it's an interactive presentation (PowerPoint), reading from slides.  However, you want to rehearse so that you can find the sweet spot of content, delivery, and connection with your audience.  Which brings me to...

• Practice- We all know the ways from our days of school presentations.  Note cards, in front of a mirror, in front of family, etc.  When you're an adult, sometimes those options aren't always available.  I believe in running through your presentation first on your own, with someone you trust to give you honest and constructive feedback, and then again on your own incorporating the honest and constructive feedback.  Honest and constructive being the key.  You don't want someone to just lie to you to make you feel good nor someone who is so critical that you lose the confidence you just gained from your preparation.  If you have a nervous habit (shaking hands, voice quivering), recognize that and think about ways you can manage these habits.  For voice quivers, you're likely not breathing properly, so rehearse your breathing.  If you look down alot, practice your eye contact at specific points in your presentation.  Just as you practice your content, you should also incorporate how to be relaxed.  The human brain can store a wealth of information and thoughts, it's amazing!

• Pizazz- Find a way to make a presentation uniquely you.  Even in business settings, you can do this.  We are all perfectly different.  Remember, the majority of people feel nervous and the people who are listening can identify and likely trust you as a source! 

Think about the best presentations you've heard, what did you enjoy about them?  What are the strengths?  Public speaking is a skill and I believe we can all learn to find comfort with it.  Even if you manage to avoid it, at some point you'll have to likely talk in a group setting.  It's natural to feel nervous and stress out but let that be the motivation.  If you make a mistake during your presentation, simply address it with a clarifying remark or just move on.  It will take time and practice but in time, you will get better at it.  Just keep your head up and keep trying!

Check out this Mayo Clinic article with excellent tips: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/phobias/expert-answers/fear-of-public-speaking/faq-20058416

Don't stress...live, learn, and live inspired!

Less Attitude, More Gratitude

Hello my dear readers!

Today I found myself beginning to throw a pity party despite my best efforts not to.  I woke up with prayer and positive vibes and what do you know? Before I even began the busiest part of my day, negativity started to creep in.  I shared some of these thoughts with a family member who listened briefly and then asked "What are you doing to better the situation?"  Don't you just love family members and friends who keep you in check? :-)  But it got me thinking on how easy it is to complain and complain while not trying as hard as we can be.  When it comes to the things I was complaining about, I have been trying and patience is half the battle.  However, if I look carefully, I haven't truly been devoting all of my resources and energy to making things better, so ultimately I could be doing a lot more.  There are many things in life that you can't control, require perseverance or are at times unfair.  However, what most motivational speakers and authors will tell you is that you must keep working harder.  It may seem like you have to work so much harder than others and maybe you do, maybe you don't.  In any event, you've got to work to enhance that which you can control!

So what can one do to better a situation?  Every case is different but I think my points below best refer to working towards a goal.

1) Go all in-  It sounds simple and it should be but believe me it's not so easy!  Whether it's the new gig you want, the healthy lifestyle/image you want, or whatever, you truly have to work hard.  I've been reading blogs and articles of people who've attained things that I dream of and the number one thing they had in common?  They were relentless in going for it.  For example, if you want to make a dream your lifestyle, you can't just wish for it or put some energy into it, you've go to go all in!  That may require some creativity but you just have to be willing to work hard and for a long period of time.  Nothing worthwhile comes in a day!

2) Be patient- Whoever said that patience is a virtue was not joking!  Doors close and they remain closed and sometimes it doesn't make sense for a long time, if at all.  Through it all, exercise trust that your good intentions will be rewarded and remain calm.  Brighter days will come!


3) Have gratitude-  Being thankful for what you do have while working towards what you want can be challenging.  However, I believe that appreciation spawns better energy and greater opportunities.  If you sulk and complain daily, you are not only putting out negative vibes but you're likely also stressing and affecting your health negatively. 

I hope this helps!  Remember, it's impossible not to complain or feel bad when things don't go right.  It's natural.  The point is don't stay there!

Good morning!

Photo Credit: www.godominicanrepublic.com

Good morning!  It's Thursday, April 24th and I am feeling good.  No, I'm NOT in the beautiful Dominican Republic as in the photo above.  Though I would certainly love to be!  It's a good morning because I'm alive and well.  Have you ever noticed how easy to start the day off poorly?  A bad commute to work, running late, disheartening stories on the news, disagreements or disappointments from the day before, you name it.  What if we flipped that and thought about all the reasons it's a GOOD morning?  First, you woke up.  Second, you're reading this blog.  It's okay, you can admit that you enjoy it.  Ha!  Anyway, when we begin the day with a grateful and thankful heart, it sets the tone for a nice day.

So, I'll get us started.  Things that made me happy so far (it's still early where I am):

• Waking up
• Sunny and seasonal weather day
• Seeing a family member excited because it's their birthday
• A delay-free and safe commute
• My growing ability to be confident and not let other people's opinions define my fashion style
• Calm day at work which will yield productivity
• Lack of stress and tension

If you'll notice, most of my list includes emotions and "little things".  When we take the time to be thankful and happy daily, it contributes to overall outlook.  Of course, there will be tough and hard days but if you can find just a moment to reflect on what's going right, you will be on the right track! So, think about it.  What things have made you happy today?

And with that...I wish you all a GOOD MORNING and a beautiful day!

Happy30: You Better Work!

What's up world!  Happy Wednesday!  It's the middle of the week and I'm feeling amped.  In the past few posts, I've lamented how I've been off my fitness and nutrition game.  However, the lamenting is over because I'm back!  Even if you go off course, don't let moments of bad habits turn into a lifetime.  Just get back on course! 

To aid me in this effort, I needed to add something new.  How about a new challenge?  One of the ladies I follow on Instagram, the beautiful and positively awesome Thara Natalie, recently completed a 24-day abs and core challenge.  It comprises crunches, leg raises, and planks, all of which I can handle.  I'm on day 3 and it's going well.  In fact, I've been so tempted to do more than the quantities but I want to try this plan as is.  #GetTonedwithThara!  Today my schedule finally allowed me to get back to my cardio classes, so today's blend was Zumba.  Though I've been doing Zumba regularly for quite some time, every instructor is different and brings a different flavor.  Some take it more international, some go heavier on the salsa, others on the reggaeton and I love it all!  This instructor (this was my first time in her class) Either the way, my hips were shaking and my body glistening and we heard several times "you better work!"  Indeed, I did!  "And I'm feeling good...so good!"

Choreo routine set to "Work" by Ciara

Speaking of work... doing solid choreography is one of my ultimate dreams.  I love dance so much! Ciara is one of the top female dancers in the game today (check her official music video here) and this group definitely WORKED!

Happy30: Sentiments and Shakes!

I fell behind on my Happy30 posting again.  Grr!  I talked about my post but didn't actually write it.  So here it is for April 9 and 10 respectively...

Wednesday, April 9:

I believe that happiness and joy can come from all sources, including when it's derived from an emotional space.  First, I love YouTuber Naptural85's hair and life vlogs.  Both are so helpful to me, especially as I'm managing my hair and just trying to enjoy life.  I was watching a few from both channels when I came across one that really touched my heart.  It was titled "Overcoming Inner Struggles" and I had a feeling that I would relate before even watching.  I'll save my own story for another blog posting but I've definitely had my share of low self-confidence moments and general fears.  Anyway, what touched me the most was the question that was asked.  I'll let you watch (watch the video below) but it had something to do with how to love yourself more.  Floodgates!  So I know you're wondering how is that a smile/happy moment?  Well, Whitney's (Naptural85) reply echoed similar feelings that I also experienced.  It may seem like you're the only one going through something but trust me you're never alone. Everybody is insecure about something or has fears because we're all human. Whether they show it or not. Trust me.   So through the metaphorical tears of looking back at that time in my life and seeing my own growth on this journey came the smile moment of the day!  

This lady truly rocks!  Her channels are awesome! She's Naptural 85 on YouTube!

Thursday, April 10:

Today's smile-worthy moment came in the form of friendship and food!  Can't go wrong with that combo, right?  Anyway, I had no plans after work today other than to perhaps do some laundry.  Fun times, I know.  A friend of mine was in the neighborhood and we decided to link up.  We sat outside soaking in the springtime sunshine and just having lots of conversation.  We can talk about *almost* everything, LOL and it was just fun.  I love planned outings but sometimes literally just getting together and spending some quality time without any special guidelines is cool too.  It's the spontaneity of life!  Friend wanted a snack so we hit up a cupcake shop for a specific flavor that they supposedly have daily but did not.  In fact, they didn't have much variety at all.  Mission fail!  I feel like that is a Yelp-worthy review but I digress.  So we brainstormed on more treat ideas.  Cookies?  Good idea but where you can buy a fresh baked one?  Frozen yogurt? I'm always down for it (especially Pinkberry) but Friend wasn't.  Shakes?  Hmm, interesting.  That was Friend's suggestion and it was a lightbulb moment.  I knew the perfect place in our vicinity!  After an odd delay, it was milkshakes and fries on deck.  Yum!  Maybe the best in our city?  Perhaps.  I need more visits to confirm :-)  More cool convos and then we parted ways.  Definitely a beautiful way to end my Thursday!  Clearly I should've Instagrammed my treats but we kinda just dug in.  Next time!

Happy30: Day 3

It's Thursday!!!  Almost the end of the work week and I am excited.  Sometimes you just have those weeks where you're ready for the weekend break.  Maybe that's every week for some people.  Haha.  Anyway, today's happy dose came in the form of retail therapy and ice cream.  I went shopping and it was awesome.  I'm not a marathon shopper like I used to be, no I pace myself to about 1-2 stores per shopping trip.  I mainly got summer dresses (j'adore dresses!), some cute spring tops, and lovely accessories.  I still want to get a few more items/looks to rock this season but this was a good start.  This trip was successful and happiness-inducing for the following:

1. I'm down a couple sizes, indicating that work does pay off (at least at this particular department store, lol)
2. It was not crowded
3. They were playing awesome pop tunes (Rihanna- Pon de Replay and the like)
4. They were playing the most beautiful and romantic ballad of 2013/2014 and other customers were singing.  I love when  people get lost in the moment and sing!  Which song?  Of course, "All of Me" by John Legend!  That song is so beautiful.  How wonderful to be in love like that!  It's going to be the date/wedding song of 2014. 

 

"All of Me" by John Legend

love, love, LOVE this song :-)

To end the afternoon, I treated myself to ice cream!  Fitness wise, that's absolutely not a part of my nutrition plan but you've gotta treat yourself sometimes!  The All Lovin' No Oven signature creation at Coldstone Creamery is on point and this staff is always so friendly and high energy.  Plus it was a fundraiser day, so a good treat and a good deed!

Today was a good day :-)  Can't wait to rock the new looks!

Get Up!

Hey guys! It’s been a busy time within this past week. I attended my first professional seminar for work. It was a really awesome experience. I’ve done some development things in my professional life but never directly related to a field that I’m working in. The seminar was classroom format, the duration was for 2 days and the location was off-site (though only a train ride away) and I’d say it was just the change of pace I needed to get me recharged and even more enthusiastic with this field. I actually enjoyed the academic vibe, furiously taking notes and just being a student again.  Sometimes, in addition to receiving knowledge and guidance, we just need that affirmation that we’re doing something right. Mentoring can come in many ways, from someone well-seasoned or from your peers. I had the pleasure of both. Experience gives way to wisdom and we’re all living and on a journey. Identify the positive and sincere people in your life and embrace them! Learn from them! I strongly encourage everyone to seek out development opportunities, both professionally and personally, even if you’re not quite where you’d like to be. We all have potential to be great and no matter what age, learning and gaining new skills is key to that. You’ve got to go for what you want and I believe you can do so with integrity! And with networking and support. “So get up, don’t sit back…”

Below is one of my favorite, up-tempo encouragement songs (it includes the lyric I quoted above). Listen closely. Enjoy!

 

 

Go forth and be inspired!

The River Flows...Does Your Spirit?

Today, I went on a guided tour of a historic local river. As I floated by, the tranquility and beauty of wildlife creatures in their habitat was astounding. However, when I took my eyes off of the movement and existence of the herring on a marsh or the fish and turtles within the river, I suddenly became sad and angry. You see, the river is not a beautiful, clear blue as you normally think of rivers. Instead, it was a murky, brownish color. This is not the result of nature wrongdoing, it is the result of human abuse. As I sailed along the river, I saw fish and I also saw plastic bottles. What a disgusting mix and destruction of THEIR habitat.

This got me thinking. How many times do we left other humans or situations disrupt our habitat? We are who we are and our flaws make us unique. Unlike creatures of the land and sea, we can control what negativity we allow into our lives. Yes, we all have down days (I've had one which has prompted me to write this evening) where we self-deprecate but to let other people do it? That will not do! We can all take a lesson from natural wildlife to survive in the midst of ugly situations. We have more power and free will over our lives, so exercise it!

Do not let others steal your joy or your confidence. If somebody can't build you up, then they are tearing you down. Don't be afraid to cut people back because you DESERVE to have the best people in your corner. Remember: "When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves." -William Arthur Ward

Great website for positive thinking: http://www.livingwordsofwisdom.com/dont-let-anyone-steal-your.html