No future in the past

Hindsight is 20/20. Sigh... It makes you wonder why you always have to gain knowledge after the fact. I know wisdom comes through experience and lessons learned but what about the things that could have changed your life? I'm a believer that God ultimately controls destiny, so of course He knows best. But I'm human and those feelings of restlessness and regret do like to sneak up on me.

As I write this blog, it's Sunday, only few hours before another work week begins. Also as I write this blog, many schools and universities are set to begin within the next week. Sigh again. While I am grateful to be employed and living a comfortable life, it's not about that. It's about the fact that, as I see it, I'm not living life as full out as I could be. Earlier today, I randomly thought more about my collegiate experience and a couple of missed turns: not adding theatre as a second major or as a minor, not studying abroad, letting fear drive me away from certain opportunities (real ones, not crushes!), holding back my "Miss NuHollywood"-ness from the world!

If you're reading this and are in college, please do the following if you have the opportunity:

1) Study abroad- It will give you more perspective in life and give you great stories to share with your future co-workers (believe me it will come in handy).

2) If you have a dream career but choose a safe major, find a way to add in your dream major. For example, acting is not an easy market to break into and back then I didn't have the confidence to audition for the program. Therefore, I chose a safer (and really useful and fun) major--Communications. If only I'd thought to double major in Communications and Theatre or add theatre as a minor, imagine where I'd be. Living out Broadway and Hollywood dreams and blogging on my official website :-)

3) Be confident! College is new for everyone. It's the time to recreate and define who you are. Go full out! Don't let self-consciousness derail you.

If you're out of college like I am, then don't wallow in the past. It can't be changed. All we can do is look to the future. Your aspirations CAN be realized but understand the road does become harder. Do I wish I could press pause and rewind? Of course, that's why you're reading this post! While I do often feel young, restless, and lost at various points in my life, I believe one day it will all come together. Maybe I'll have everything I've dreamed and worked towards or maybe I'll discover something new and be happy with that. I wish, I wish, I wish but what good does it do. All I can do is work and hope that everything else aligns.

I write these words for myself just as much as I write them to inspire/encourage others.Stay grounded, we'll reach our destinations eventually. You won't always feel optimistic, so vent and then let it go. This has been my 48-hour bout with regret but it ends tonight. I WISH becomes I LEARN and ACCEPT.

Onward and upward....

Men are catching up to us, ladies!

For the things men have an advantage on—workplace pay being the biggest—we women have always had one thing in our arsenal. The power to be fabulous at a moment’s notice. Now it is true that this fabulousity comes with the downsides of cute stilettos that slowly murder your feet, the pressure to look sleek and trim but nonetheless it’s a power all our own!

Or is it? So we’ve all heard about the phenomenon of “metrosexuality” but even the most masculine of men is starting to get it. Grooming is unisex! Then came “manscaping”, the process of manicures, waxes (facial and otherwise), and even dabbles with makeup (guyliner anyone?)—basically what we females have been doing since forever. The fashion-senses have also been awakened and more and more guys aren’t just grabbing any old t-shirt, they’re heading to department stores, Express Men (love their men’s collection), other specialty stores, and getting things tailored to achieve a more fashionable version of their look.

However, I just read in The Washington Post something that made my mind spin. MAN SPANX. Spanx for MEN. Huh? Did a double-take but then I realized it makes complete sense. We all know how much attention (grr) is paid to women’s bodies and the all-too familiar comparison to some body part of a Hollywood starlet. Isn’t it time for some sweet revenge? If we have to tuck things in and look slim, so should you (looking at you fellas). A potbelly is only cool if you’re talking about the sandwich shop and moobs (more commonly referred to as man-boobs) are never hot! Repeat: THEY ARE NEVER GOING TO BE IN. Unless you have a condition, in that case, we don’t discriminate.

Spanx for men are basically designed to do what they do for women. Tuck and hide. For me, Spanx definitely can refine a look and give that extra little boost of confidence. We all know the popularity for women but it’s refreshing to see that guys are flocking to stores (think Neiman-Marcus, though it will only be a matter of time before they’re everywhere) taking that step to tuck and hide versus the all too common “let it go” look. The Spanx are called Compression T-Shirts and they remind me of Under Armour except it’s not gym activewear. Oh and in case you thought it was only for guys with guts—nope it’s for you muscular guys who need to fit into trendy suits. Guys, we (or at least I) will love you for taking that step. It shows you care just as much as I do about personal appearance. No shame, boys, no shame!

Real men wear pink (and other pastel tones)? Sure. Real men wear Spanx? Absolutely!

The Washington Post article (The writer breaks down this phenomenon and includes a slideshow): http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/08/18/AR2010081804365.html?hpid=moreheadlines

Man Spanx website: http://www.spanx.com/category/index.jsp?categoryId=3955558

Cheers to size...HEALTHY!

I just read an article on Entertainment Weekly (my source for pop culture goodness) about a Tyra Banks apology regarding America's Next Top Model (ANTM), Cycle 15. My first thought was "This could be interesting. Is she apologizing for the fact that this show is still on?" I know that sounds mean but I honestly haven't enjoyed ANTM since Cycle 8 (Jaslene Gonzalez was the winner) with my favorite cycles being 2 (Mercedes rocked!), 3 (Eva the diva was fierce), and 6 (Sweet Danielle and hilarious Jade were great). I couldn't tell you anything about the last few seasons except that of the seasons I watched it has gotten progressively worse. But my disdain is another blog post.


Anyway, it turns out that a promo spot (commercial, if you will) was released showing Tyra Banks appearing to praise a model's very small waist. If you've ever seen the show or know anything about Tyra since her modeling days, than you know that she is all about curves, embracing your body, all the "beauty comes in all shapes and sizes" mantras you can think of. Now of course I agree with those ideas, just as beauty is not only found in one skin tone, hair color, or eye color, beauty is not only one body type.


What was interesting in the comments section was that a debate brewed between the reactions between very thin and overweight. There definitely is more of an overall campaign by the media to celebrate "regular-sized" and "full/plus-sized" women. I applaud the media for this since for so many decades, there was the "one size fits all" mentality that you needed to be the golden size 6 (or smaller) to wear the best fashions, be a model/actress, etc. Embrace your curves and even the extra pounds you have--a confident and positive self-image is what it's all about.


But while celebrating the larger than size 6 body, are we doing so at the cost of the naturally thin women? As sure as "fat" jokes are generally discouraged, how many times have we heard "she looks anorexic!" or "go eat something". Maybe these ladies are eating something and have a naturally fast metabolism or it's their genetic structure or they have a good balance of healthy eating and exercise. I believe we should celebrate ALL body types as long as they are healthy! High blood pressure, cholesterol, etc do not discriminate between a size 0 and a size 20. The key is healthy lifestyle! That will most certainly give way to a beautiful person, no matter what their size is.

Entertainment Weekly's article (and comments): http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/08/16/tyra-banks-top-model-apology/

The River Flows...Does Your Spirit?

Today, I went on a guided tour of a historic local river. As I floated by, the tranquility and beauty of wildlife creatures in their habitat was astounding. However, when I took my eyes off of the movement and existence of the herring on a marsh or the fish and turtles within the river, I suddenly became sad and angry. You see, the river is not a beautiful, clear blue as you normally think of rivers. Instead, it was a murky, brownish color. This is not the result of nature wrongdoing, it is the result of human abuse. As I sailed along the river, I saw fish and I also saw plastic bottles. What a disgusting mix and destruction of THEIR habitat.

This got me thinking. How many times do we left other humans or situations disrupt our habitat? We are who we are and our flaws make us unique. Unlike creatures of the land and sea, we can control what negativity we allow into our lives. Yes, we all have down days (I've had one which has prompted me to write this evening) where we self-deprecate but to let other people do it? That will not do! We can all take a lesson from natural wildlife to survive in the midst of ugly situations. We have more power and free will over our lives, so exercise it!

Do not let others steal your joy or your confidence. If somebody can't build you up, then they are tearing you down. Don't be afraid to cut people back because you DESERVE to have the best people in your corner. Remember: "When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves." -William Arthur Ward

Great website for positive thinking: http://www.livingwordsofwisdom.com/dont-let-anyone-steal-your.html

A day without...technology?!

World, we have a problem. A large majority of your population is seriously addicted to technology. This likely includes you, reader. Now before you get all defensive, let’s consider what our lives are like without the cell phone, iPod, or television. If you live in the East Coast (particularly in the Mid-Atlantic), you probably experienced what has been affectionately referred to as “snowpocalypse (or snowmaggedon) 2010” in which some people lost power. An extended period sans power equals no television, no computer (laptop battery can only run so long), and no cell phone (same reason as laptops). Now, you may be thinking “I don’t even use ______” but to say you can manage without any of these things is pretty unbelievable (and unbrearable for most).

I’ll perform a self-examination. On a daily basis (discounting work because I have to use technology there), I use my cell phone sparingly, watch a limited amount of television (though I will admit it’s often powered on whether I’m watching closely or not), and use my computer heavily every other day. I probably don’t sound too technology-dependent but I’ll continue. When I left my cell phone at home one day, I felt completely naked as if I’d left my an article of clothing at home. There’s something just reassuring about having a cell phone within reach to call or text someone (or check facebook and twitter messages). The same thing goes with my iPod. Don’t get me started on life without my iPod. It’s obviously most critical when I’m at the gym and occasionally riding public transportation (can be a good way to tune out those irritants we all hate). When I find myself at the gym without it, ugh, morale goes down immediately. As for the train, no ipod is mitigated by having a book. Neither? I'm praying for a peaceful ride. The times I’ve lost electricity, I read books and magazines, worked out, chatted with family/friends, and played games—but after a day, this cycle gets boring quickly.

Maybe it’s not an addiction, so much as it is a control issue. When we are accustomed to life a certain way and it’s just unexpectedly disrupted, it can be a really disorienting feeling. I certainly won’t DIE without the items listed above and there are times I actually don’t want to use some of those tech items. However, it’s something about not being able to access something freely that becomes an issue. The Today show featured a family that decided to turn everything off for a day, here’s there story: http://community.todaymoms.com/_news/2010/07/20/4717197-family-gives-up-computer-tv-and-texting-could-your-family-do-it

What do you think? Could you do it for a day? For longer? It’s not as easy as it sounds but are you willing to try? Leave a comment below and hit me up on twitter (@ ImSoResilient) to let me know!

High heels, high price

High heels are among us. They have long been the symbols of power, confidence, and fashion. You can not open a catalogue without seeing the cutest outfit paired with a high (uncomfortable looking) heel. However, for all of these fleeting things we are given, much is given up. That’s right ladies; high heels do a lot of things for us including damage the muscles in our legs.

Now first let me begin by saying that I am NOT against high heels. I simply like to mix my style up between flats and heels. I am kind of tall without heels so I am more of a cute flats/low heel girl. When I do incorporate high heels, it’s to 1) embrace my inner glamazon by going all out on my look or 2) to stand above the haters/detractors/everybody else. I won’t lie, it does feel good to tower sometimes—except when it’s with a guy that I’m interested in (though it kind of works when it’s a guy I’m not feeling as much). But I’ve digressed. The whole point is that the constant wearing of high heels really does lead to a wear and tear of the muscles. When I think about the reasons I don’t wear high heels, the answer always has to do with pain and/or discomfort.

Here are the facts:
Constant and prolonged wearing of high heels (looking at you diva fashionistas) weaken the calf muscles and alter the shape of the Achilles tendon. Have you ever heard of an athlete being sidelined because of an injury to their Achilles? It is a major injury and while wearing high heels may not debilitate you for months, it can lead to problems down the line. The changes in your legs affect the ankle's natural resting position. Additionally, ill-fitting shoes can also lead to foot conditions such as corns and bunions, which will make wearing ANY shoe uncomfortable.

So what does this mean? Nobody is saying that you can't ever wear high heels. As with everything in life, moderation is the key. Don’t walk up all those flights of stairs or across town in your heels, wear cute flats or sneakers. Don't wear those power heels every day, switch it up with flats, etc. Whatever you do, do NOT even think of exercising in heels (you just look ridiculous--yes even you Beyonce). Some of you may have visions of white sneakers and high-top socks but this is 2010. Shoe companies are with it and design really sporty (and foot-healthy) shoes. Check out footsmart.com or aerosoles.com to see what I’m talking about (as well as some *haute* flats).

The research is out there--be informed:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/07/19/2958019.htm?section=justin
http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/07/15/heels.shrink.muscle/
http://www.newsweek.com/2010/07/19/she-stoops-to-conquer.html

Check out this hilarious (but true) song by Keri Hilson called "High Heels" set to a pretty cool SIMS video:

Your Brain: Getting better in time

This blog’s for all my folks who have finished undergraduate and aren’t quite aboard the graduate school express. This is especially for you if you aren’t quite in your desired career field or just generally bored. Have you ever felt like you were just losing brain cells? Just think about it, in college your mind was consistently challenged in class, you were required to regularly use critical thinking, and who can forget all the research papers (wasn’t that just a blast)? Then you enter the workforce and unless you skipped up the ranks, you likely have done a host of administrative work. Don’t get me wrong; administrative assistants of the world—stand up! Companies wouldn’t have success without you. But you must admit that it’s not always the most interesting or mind-bending and chances are, you aren’t using the same part of your brain that you did in college.

There is good news though. You’re not getting dumber over time! Watching my local news this morning, I learned that the brain itself stays sharp in some areas. According the a report from English newspaper The Telegraph, long-term memory, vocabulary, emotional intelligence and social skills stay intact or might actually show improvement. This probably explains why we can look at past events that at the time seemed monumental and view them as just “little things.”

With all good things, there is always a flip side. As you get older, aspects such as short-term memory, learning skills, and the ability to reason decrease. Now you understand why it’s sometimes harder for senior citizens to remember recent events, pick up new skills like technology (I’m in my 20’s and I still need help), or be rational. Be patient! This is likely going to be you when you are their age.

All in all, you MUST engage your brain to stay sharp. You can only fight biology through effort! Reading books and newspapers (yes they still exist) and doing puzzles like crosswords, Sudoku, or even math problems (yep, I really said math) are excellent ways to challenge your mind in a simple, easy manner. You could always study for grad exams like I did, too. Borders, Barnes & Nobles, etc are our friends!

Feeling bored? Do a puzzle! You will be so glad you did in about 30 years!

Reference article: http://www.myfoxdc.com/dpps/news/study-aging-brains-retain-knowledge-dpgoh-20100628-fc_8368690

The DESK step to office success

(Getty images)

So, we've all been there right? Tired, stiff limbs, stressed out; if you work (or have ever worked) in an office, you know what I'm talking about.

It’s a well-known fact that sitting too long is never a good thing. It induces sleepiness, lack of motivation, and worst of all: negative effects on your health. From bad posture to weight gain to depression, the threat is real. Most of the time we can avoid prolonged sitting due to ease of mobility. What about the times when you can’t avoid it? If you work in an office or cubicle regularly, then you likely fall into the category of unavoidable.

However, all is not lost! In addition to taking breaks to stretch or go for a walk (make sure those breaks aren’t TOO long), companies are taking a new approach to helping employees be limber. How, you ask? The treadmill workstation (or desk treadmill)! This unique workstation combines the ability to maintain productivity while letting you move.
(photos courtesy of Amazon.com)I saw a feature on my local Fox news affiliate and saw a woman who typically spends 10 hours a day around her desk as a customer service representative. It was interesting to see her still take calls, get a workout, and not miss a beat. Of course, the treadmill doesn’t move fast but wouldn’t it solve people’s main complaint? I know personally I miss the days of college where I walked all over campus and sat in seats no more than 2 hours at a time. Imagine the culture shock to basically be expected to be desk-bound for the majority of an 8-hour day. Most offices do allow employee breaks and are certainly open-minded about stretching, etc but it does something to your mental state to be deskbound for more than a couple of hours.

I personally think it would be interesting to have something like this in my office. I probably would not want to walk and work all day but it would be nice to rotate from sitting to walking occasionally. Within the last year, I developed upper back pain and I knew it was from prolonged sitting. Work breaks are only but so long, as is lunch and taking long walks or hitting up the gym is not always possible. Other than granting us siesta periods to be used for leisure or shortening the average work day/week, employers are on the right track. Another idea that many companies have explored is inner-office yoga and Zumba.  I am a Zumba enthusiast, so I would be all for it.  As for the treadmill, it will be interesting to see if more companies adopt this technology and if people will actually use it. 

So what do you think? Would you use the desk treadmill? Do you have other suggestions on how to get fitness into the workplace while still maintaining efficiency? Leave a comment and let me know!


Check out the concept:



MyFoxAtlanta news report





Other great sites on this topic:

http://last10pounds.org/blog/2008/09/27/lose-weight-using-a-treadmill-workstation-desk/
http://livehealthy.southernliving.com/2008/10/putting-work-in.html
http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/06/22/desk.job.bad.health/

FIFA Fever—Let’s get ready to VUVUZELA!

World Cup 2010 has taken center stage in the world. Whether you have been watching the games or not, interested in the games or not, chances are your facebook feed is full of spirited statuses, your twitter timeline is flooded, or you’ve been seeing team jerseys and flags on the street or in your favorite bar. If you still don’t know what I’m talking about—um tell me what rock you hide under so I can escape there too.

Quick explanation for those who don’t get how it works: As of today’s blog, we are already within the round of 16, also known as the knockout stage. If a team loses from now on, they’re out of the tournament. How did we get to the 16? Stay with me. There were 32 teams divided in 8 groups (4 teams per group). When the World Cup games began on Friday, June 11th, there were many games going on as each group played each other. Let’s look at Group C that was comprised of England, Slovenia, Algeria and the beloved United States. In the group stage, the USA played England, then the USA played Slovenia (controversy abounds), and finally the USA played Algeria. The top 2 teams advanced based on number of points. A win=3 pts, draw=1 pt, and a loss=0 pts. USA’s run consisted of 2 draws and a win or 5 points. Our cousins across the pond also had the same result making us the top 2 teams.

Here’s who advanced (go to espn.go.com to see all 32 teams):

Group A: Uruguay and Mexico

Group B: Argentina and South Korea

Group C: United States and England

Group D: Germany and Ghana

Group E: Netherlands and Japan

Group F: Paraguay and Slovakia

Group G: Brazil and Portugal

Group H: Spain and Chile

Knockout stage: As I mentioned before, if you lose you’re out. Winners are listed and the remaining schedule is posted for games not played yet. It goes like this, 1st place of Group A plays 2nd place of Group B and 1st place of Group B plays 2nd place of Group A. Think of it as A vs. B, C vs. D, etc following that format.

This gets us to our final 8 (think of March madness college hoops: Sweet 16 down to the Elite 8). Winners are italicized

Uruguay v. South Korea

Argentina v. Mexico

United States v. Ghana

Germany v. England

Netherlands v. Slovakia

Brazil v. Chile

Paraguay v. Japan

Spain v. Portugal

We already know some of the upcoming matchups: Uruguay v. Ghana and Argentina v. Germany (that’s going to be a major one—prepare for status updates, tweets, etc). Based on the play I’ve seen so far, Germany looks unstoppable, while Argentina is polished (hence it’s a great match-up). Brazil and the winner of Spain/Portugal will likely also be threats for the crown.

Controversy: There are many things discussion-worthy this World Cup including the rise of the underdogs, demise of Team France and the early exit of reigning champs Italy. However, the thing that has taken center stage beyond everything else is the calls (or often no-calls of the referees). Most egregious:

-Disallowed goal for the USA v. Slovenia during the Group Stage; result=ended in a draw with the USA on the brink of elimination had they not beaten Algeria (mind you there was a disallowed goal in the very next game against USA). The referee who has in essence been fired offered no explanation and appeared to only see an imaginary infraction against USA players while NOT seeing the multiple fouls being committed by Slovenia players against USA. Andy Roddick said it best…

-Disallowed goal for England v. Germany during the knockout stage: To the surprise of probably no one, Germany went up 2-0 early in the first half. However, England fought right back to tie—or not? Again after blatantly not seeing a goal, half-time came and the score was 2-1. Needless to say, the Brits never recovered and honestly while the lack of goal was egregious, seriously Germany would’ve had the same result. 4-1 was the final score, just saying…

-Allowing a goal while clearly being offsides (an illegal move in soccer) for Argentina v. Mexico during the knockout stage: Hmm, now this clearly changed the tempo of the game. While Argentina did win 3-1, had the score only been 1-0 at the half, Mexico probably would’ve felt optimistic. It can be demoralizing to go down 2-0 before halftime. It makes the hill that much higher. But then again, we wouldn’t get Germany v. Argentina if Mexico had won.

-2nd yellow card for Brazil’s Kaka after a fake injury: This actually happened a lot where players received yellow cards for over-exaggerated non-injuries. I’ve isolated Kaka’s incident because he ended up missing the next match (2 yellow cards=missing the next match) when it was so clear that Ivory Coast’s Abdel-Kader Keïta was pretending. You got elbowed in the chest dude yet you grab your face on the way down while making sure the refs see you. Hey, can’t blame a player for trying. Blame it on the refs!

Why were USA fans so hyped this year? Because we were in it! As I’m sure you’re aware, soccer isn’t the primary sport here—football, baseball, and basketball are! Team USA had a great chance to go far in the tournament. But as fate has it, we got knocked out during the group of 16 to Ghana. This was very sad because people were finally tuning in and showing love to the States. All isn’t lost though, there’s a newfound interest and revival in soccer that hopefully the MLS (Major League Soccer) will capitalize on. One of the Cup’s biggest heroes was Landon Donovan and he plays for the LA Galaxy (alongside David Beckham!) Almost every major city has a team, support yours!

Lastly, what is all this talk about a vuvuzela? It’s an instrument native to South Africa (where the World Cup is being hosted) used for celebrations. Clearly there is no bigger celebration than the World Cup being hosted for the first time in your continent, let alone in your country! It has somewhat of a low hum sound and when there are multiple, it sounds similar to a swarm of bees. Many fans around the world and players and coaches have complained BUT hey futbol nation is in their country, let the people celebrate. If you’re really paying attention to the games, you don’t even notice it (unless it’s boring but blame that on the teams!). Hope you’re a little bit clear on how this wonderful game is played! The World Cup only takes place every 4 years so don’t wait until it’s over to see why people get so amped!