How time flies!

Wow!  I can't believe it's been a year since I've last posted.  Re-reading this blog is kind of therapeutic because I've seen some themes and gained insight from my own words.  Anyway, I'm thinking of resurrecting this blog and just letting it flow.  Everyday I'm able to live is a day to grow and enjoy.

Ah, summer time!  The time of year that many a magazine/advice column/etc will push as the best time for being single, especially in the nation’s capital.  The days are longer.  There are so many events.  Interns/fresh faces have arrived.  All valid points but for a single lady not used to/not interested in/out of practice with playing the “game”, this can be tough.  How do you meet new guys if the bar/lounge scene isn’t your scene?  How do you combat the feelings of wanting to stay in a shell, particularly if you’re still grappling with the distress of failed dates or haven’t been on a date in awhile?

Don’t get me wrong, I am THE advocate for women putting their best face forward and getting over a failed relationship ASAP.  But sometimes it’s so tough!  Even if you’ve accepted a relationship may be in fact done, the part of putting yourself back out there is tough.  Especially if you feel like you got hurt the most out of it all.  Sigh! 

Alas, all is not lost!  I think the biggest step to being fabulous and single in the summer is to consider the possibilities.  Don’t smirk or give side eyes to all the couples holding hands (believe me I’ve been there).  I will outline 2 possibilities. 

Embrace possibility #1: FASHION!  Summer is the time to be spectacular and the advantage goes to the ladies!  Dresses, skirts, bright/bold colors, shorts, off the shoulder shirts, tank tops, accessories, fun hair—those are a few of my favorite staples but the point is you can be you times 10!  Though summer means less fabric, you can still be confident and classy while not looking crazy in this heat.  Takeaway: Be comfortable!

Possibility #2: See and be seen.  Okay, so you’ve got your look down, now it’s time to hit the town! Err, WHAT?  Lol, No I don’t mean club it up.  If you’re like me, that’s the last thing you want to do.  But if you are like me than things like outdoor live music (I swoon for any kind of rhythmic jazz) or outdoor cafes with friends is right up your alley.  When you have a good time 1) you’re distracted from all the lovey-dovey couples and 2) you’re glowing from the inside and out and you never know whose watching you smile!

My goal for this summer is to work on being the best I can be at this moment.  While I won’t ever lower my standards or give up complete control, I just want to work on being *SLIGHTLY* less guarded and just have fun.  I’ll NEVER give up on love because I know I will one day meet the man who is also in the same state of mind as I.  Right now, I just want to expand my circle.  I think that’s the most important thing after a break up or even just a relationship/dating break.  Rather than rush into the arms of the next one (which may feel temporarily good but will only exacerbate heartache), I want to just get to know more people and learn more about myself, my interests, and just the art of interaction.  Love will come but LIFE is here and meant to be experienced to the fullest.  So no excuses, let your metaphoric hair down and do your thing!

If I can end this post with one message, one goal for summer, it would be to just BE!  Live, laugh, and most importantly have fun!  It's cliche but the BEST things DO come to those who wait.  Why settle for junk food when you can have the meal of a lifetime?

~One love~

Upcoming: Valentine's Day

So it’s one week from the big “LOVE” day—Valentine’s day.  Some say it’s just a commercial scheme while others argue that’s a day to truly show love, affection, and appreciation to someone you care about romantically.  My take?  I’m not opposed to Valentine’s day for couples.  In my observation, it is easy for people in relationships become too lax in showing affection and appreciation. 

While I’m certainly not saying Valentine’s day is the ONLY day to show love, that day (or week) is a nice reminder though.  It’s not only about February 14^th—what about a different day that week when it’s less crowded?  Heck, instead of bashing the retail and restaurant industries, thank them because those industries make it EASY.  Go to any grocery or retail store (ex: Target) and there are tons of cards to choose from.  Same thing goes with flowers, teddy bears, and chocolates/candy if your sweetie likes that kind of thing.  Date options are endless!  What makes a nice Valentine’s date in my opinion?  Creativity, thoughtfulness, and kindness!  Read on…

The token of affection

Depending on what you choose, this is THE best part because it comes from the heart.  My personal favorites are a card and a teddy bear.  A card is so flexible—you can make one, you can buy a blank one, or you can buy one that says all the things you think but don’t know how to write!  That’s right, there are card writers who create sweet sentiments just for someone like YOU.

I am a sensitive soul, so teddy bears are a favorite because they are long-lasting reminder throughout the year of the thoughtfulness and the cuddle times to come!   Unlike flowers (which are on my list as well), they won’t die after certain time. 

Some people like gifts and that is a nice gesture but for me not required—at least not initially J  Moving on…

Date night!

Grub time!
Hmm, restaurants abound!  My personal preference is a nice homemade (or at least semi-homemade) dinner BUT restaurants do offer the ability to get all dolled up for a night on a town.  Super-expensive restaurants are too pretentious and too cheap/casual restaurants are too impersonal.  That’s just me.  Just choose a nice spot, perhaps one that you both enjoyed in the past and go with it!

The activity portion

Dinner is nice but doing something together is nicer!  So people who know me will know that I love the arts!  Theater productions, dance performances, music concerts, cultural events, and museums are where you can usually find me in my spare time.  You know it I’m there!  The arts make for a wonderful date for the following reasons:

1) Sensory overload—the lights, the sounds, the content, so much to feast on aesthetically!

2) Conversation piece (and who doesn’t love when you’re on a date where you can actually communicate and have something fun and of substance to talk about!)
3) It’s something new and exciting

The arts make it easy because usually there are discounted rates/promotions going on around this time of year, so take advantage.   In DC, there are cool websites like: http://datenightsdc.washington.org/ to generate ideas from.  Also many museums and sights (think Smithsonian and National Mall monuments) are FREE, so no breaking the bank there!  In other cities, there is always some kind of cultural sight to partake in.  The most important thing is playing off the interests of your object of affection.  You know them better than any blog would, so go with that.  For me, an arts-based date would have me swooning but for someone else that could be rock climbing.

Again Valentine’s day should not be the one and only time you feel like your relationship is going well.  This should be an ongoing feeling.  However, it’s a nice time to REMIND the one you care about that you do in fact CARE and APPRECIATE their time.  I’m very big on showing people that you appreciate their presence in your life, otherwise what’s the point?

 All my single ladies (and gents)!

Ok, so this day can also remind people that they are single and without a romantic companion.  You are NOT alone!  For that I would say, just go about your day as usual.  As I discovered this year, many organizations (such as museums) host fun events for singles and couples alike.  Who knows?  You can meet your future date at one of these events.  Also usually the week/weekend before some venues host singles/dating events, which could be another option if you really don’t spend it with a valentine.  In fact it’s the perfect day for people watching.  Yes you will see some lovey-dovey couples but observe their body language (I’m all about human observation), is everything really rosy-cozy?  In some cases yes, in which case use that as inspiration that your prince/princess is out there.  But in the cases where people are going through the motions, be glad that you are living a more truthful life being single than being in a pretend relationship.

Chill with family, friends, go to dinner/make dinner top chef style at your house—whatever you do just have fun!

Last note—don’t wear black as a symbol of anti-Valentine’s day.  Just as I personally find red to be annoying, I feel as though a day out of the year shouldn’t dictate your outfit.  Rock whatever you’d like!  Be unique!

So all in all, give Valentine’s day a break.  At one point or another, we’ve all gotten excited about February 14^th, whether it was last year or way back in elementary school (remember those little Valentine’s cards and lollipops for school? Good times!).  Just commit to showing love everyday to the ONES (partner, family, friends) you love and if you do happen to be in a relationship, show that person some EXTRA love.  No matter how you show it (or who you show it to), appreciation is appreciation and who doesn’t appreciate that? J 

One love!

The World Awaits!

(Marseille, France)

I randomly found an old map that I received from a charity organization.  I really am in awe at how much is out there beyond our borders.  I love the United States and am proud to call it my country of birth. However I would love to visit and experience the world!  A trip to the UK is in the works for next year but also on my shortlist is:

• LONDON (I am just so in love with England! My reasons for that require a seperate blog post!)
• Paris/South of France (Marseille, etc)
• Greece (the Mediterranean is gorgeous and there's so much history)
• Madrid/Sevilla/Lisbon
• Brazil (World Cup 2014 perhaps?)
• Italy (Rome, Milan, southern provinces)
• Carribean (Virgin Islands, Antigua, etc)/Central America (Costa Rica!)
• West and South Africa (Cape Verde/South Africa)
• Australia

....and many more!

I have always been an international culture buff.  I am a MAJOR football (soccer) fan and I like watching the Premier League and La Liga.  I listen to music from the UK and Latin America/Spain.  I have family in West Africa/London, that I've never met. Plus I love accents!  While that would obviously mean I would have to break out of my Franglish (French/Spanish/English fusion), I'm up for the challenge!  I think my goal for now is get back to studying Spanish and French towards fluency. I foresee Greek being really hard to learn so I'll start slow. Even if other countries DO speak English, shouldn't you at least try to respect the culture and attempt the language with English as a backup?  I think so.  Hence why the UK will be first :-)

Another reason that I want to visit is to just see what it's like being a person of color elsewhere. I have a hunch (and I've heard firsthand from people) that color/race is not as big a deal as it is here in the States.  I look forward to that because quite honestly, I am so over the overemphasis.  Now, I'm not naive enough to think there aren't racism/classism/sexism issues but it would be nice to see just how it is.  Either way, the world awaits and I'm eager to go. 

Wish me bonne chance!  Gracias :) Mais perto do ceu.

Can anybody hear me?

"I'm screaming out and my dreams will be heard, they will not be pushed aside..."

That line comes from the movie Dreamgirls and is sung beautifully by Beyonce's character Deena Jones, who wants to break free of what others wanted her to be.

I can relate.  I'm screaming out but I'm not sure if anybody hears me.  I believe in God and I have faith but that gets very tested when it seems like I just stall or fall with no sign of a safety net. 

Don't get me wrong, I recognize the many blessings God has bestowed upon me thus far and for the safety/caring that I receive on a daily basis. I guess beyond the basics I am just feeling like there's not much else in the works.  During my youthful years, it was also easy to feel like I had direction.  Graduate high school, accepted into college, graduate college successfully.  Since that point, that's where everything became murky.  I got a great full-time job and flourished.  So what's wrong with that?  Nothing!  The thing is though that my ultimate dream was to be a special events/public relations practitioner living in New York turned television personality or tv/film actor living in New York.  Staying in Washington D.C. was not really apart of the equation.

So what went wrong in that plan?  Well, I'd say it was lack of information and lack of opportunity.  Lack of information: We're taught praticality in this country and that staying within the lines is the safest and most logical way.  Only a small percent make it and you're likely NOT one of them.
Lack of opportunity: I think nepotism takes people far (if not directly among family, through connections), superficiliaty (losing identity to gain opportunity), or the -isms (certain minorities STILL struggle to this day).

Now I've heard many a (self-righteous) celebrity say, "I created my own opportunity." or "to follow your dream, you must take chances." Well bump that! You take a chance, work hard, and nothing happens--then what?  You end up on the boulevard of broken dreams working a job that you are comfortable in but have no real connection with.

I believe in prayer and I believe in waiting on God's time but it's draining to cry night after night, try time after time, and wonder year after year if this is finally going to be your year.  I sit and watch person after person thrive and on the flip see news story after story of another life lost.  It's tough.  Why is it that some people shine and others fade out and where do I fit in? 

My career and life goals are steadily evolve but at this point I just want to be happy.  I know every day can't be filled with sunshine and smiley faces but these rain and clouds aren't cutting it either.

Sigh...estoy perdido (I am lost).  Just hoping my cries will be heard eventually and that someone up there willl finally here me.

Onward on the road to resilience...

The Reintroduction of Sorts...

Hello world.

This is a reintroduction of sorts since I'm merging a couple old blogs into this one. After letting previous blogs slip, I've decided to give this another shot. Whereas my previous blogs had a specific focus, this one's just about my life. Sometimes I feel like I'm just wading through the ocean of life.  I'm at a pinnacle age in my 20s where I'm supposed to have everything together or be well on my way.  However, I feel like I'm at the bottom of the hill just looking up--in career, love, and overall life.

A few weeks ago I made a decision to pause and reevaluate my life.  Needless to say, a few short weeks later I'm already panicking and feeling the angst of where to go next.  Things are pretty much at a standstill (or so it seems) and while I generally try to keep a positive mindset it's hard out here.

The road to resiliency continues....

No future in the past

Hindsight is 20/20. Sigh... It makes you wonder why you always have to gain knowledge after the fact. I know wisdom comes through experience and lessons learned but what about the things that could have changed your life? I'm a believer that God ultimately controls destiny, so of course He knows best. But I'm human and those feelings of restlessness and regret do like to sneak up on me.

As I write this blog, it's Sunday, only few hours before another work week begins. Also as I write this blog, many schools and universities are set to begin within the next week. Sigh again. While I am grateful to be employed and living a comfortable life, it's not about that. It's about the fact that, as I see it, I'm not living life as full out as I could be. Earlier today, I randomly thought more about my collegiate experience and a couple of missed turns: not adding theatre as a second major or as a minor, not studying abroad, letting fear drive me away from certain opportunities (real ones, not crushes!), holding back my "Miss NuHollywood"-ness from the world!

If you're reading this and are in college, please do the following if you have the opportunity:

1) Study abroad- It will give you more perspective in life and give you great stories to share with your future co-workers (believe me it will come in handy).

2) If you have a dream career but choose a safe major, find a way to add in your dream major. For example, acting is not an easy market to break into and back then I didn't have the confidence to audition for the program. Therefore, I chose a safer (and really useful and fun) major--Communications. If only I'd thought to double major in Communications and Theatre or add theatre as a minor, imagine where I'd be. Living out Broadway and Hollywood dreams and blogging on my official website :-)

3) Be confident! College is new for everyone. It's the time to recreate and define who you are. Go full out! Don't let self-consciousness derail you.

If you're out of college like I am, then don't wallow in the past. It can't be changed. All we can do is look to the future. Your aspirations CAN be realized but understand the road does become harder. Do I wish I could press pause and rewind? Of course, that's why you're reading this post! While I do often feel young, restless, and lost at various points in my life, I believe one day it will all come together. Maybe I'll have everything I've dreamed and worked towards or maybe I'll discover something new and be happy with that. I wish, I wish, I wish but what good does it do. All I can do is work and hope that everything else aligns.

I write these words for myself just as much as I write them to inspire/encourage others.Stay grounded, we'll reach our destinations eventually. You won't always feel optimistic, so vent and then let it go. This has been my 48-hour bout with regret but it ends tonight. I WISH becomes I LEARN and ACCEPT.

Onward and upward....