The World Awaits!

(Marseille, France)

I randomly found an old map that I received from a charity organization.  I really am in awe at how much is out there beyond our borders.  I love the United States and am proud to call it my country of birth. However I would love to visit and experience the world!  A trip to the UK is in the works for next year but also on my shortlist is:

• LONDON (I am just so in love with England! My reasons for that require a seperate blog post!)
• Paris/South of France (Marseille, etc)
• Greece (the Mediterranean is gorgeous and there's so much history)
• Madrid/Sevilla/Lisbon
• Brazil (World Cup 2014 perhaps?)
• Italy (Rome, Milan, southern provinces)
• Carribean (Virgin Islands, Antigua, etc)/Central America (Costa Rica!)
• West and South Africa (Cape Verde/South Africa)
• Australia

....and many more!

I have always been an international culture buff.  I am a MAJOR football (soccer) fan and I like watching the Premier League and La Liga.  I listen to music from the UK and Latin America/Spain.  I have family in West Africa/London, that I've never met. Plus I love accents!  While that would obviously mean I would have to break out of my Franglish (French/Spanish/English fusion), I'm up for the challenge!  I think my goal for now is get back to studying Spanish and French towards fluency. I foresee Greek being really hard to learn so I'll start slow. Even if other countries DO speak English, shouldn't you at least try to respect the culture and attempt the language with English as a backup?  I think so.  Hence why the UK will be first :-)

Another reason that I want to visit is to just see what it's like being a person of color elsewhere. I have a hunch (and I've heard firsthand from people) that color/race is not as big a deal as it is here in the States.  I look forward to that because quite honestly, I am so over the overemphasis.  Now, I'm not naive enough to think there aren't racism/classism/sexism issues but it would be nice to see just how it is.  Either way, the world awaits and I'm eager to go. 

Wish me bonne chance!  Gracias :) Mais perto do ceu.

Can anybody hear me?

"I'm screaming out and my dreams will be heard, they will not be pushed aside..."

That line comes from the movie Dreamgirls and is sung beautifully by Beyonce's character Deena Jones, who wants to break free of what others wanted her to be.

I can relate.  I'm screaming out but I'm not sure if anybody hears me.  I believe in God and I have faith but that gets very tested when it seems like I just stall or fall with no sign of a safety net. 

Don't get me wrong, I recognize the many blessings God has bestowed upon me thus far and for the safety/caring that I receive on a daily basis. I guess beyond the basics I am just feeling like there's not much else in the works.  During my youthful years, it was also easy to feel like I had direction.  Graduate high school, accepted into college, graduate college successfully.  Since that point, that's where everything became murky.  I got a great full-time job and flourished.  So what's wrong with that?  Nothing!  The thing is though that my ultimate dream was to be a special events/public relations practitioner living in New York turned television personality or tv/film actor living in New York.  Staying in Washington D.C. was not really apart of the equation.

So what went wrong in that plan?  Well, I'd say it was lack of information and lack of opportunity.  Lack of information: We're taught praticality in this country and that staying within the lines is the safest and most logical way.  Only a small percent make it and you're likely NOT one of them.
Lack of opportunity: I think nepotism takes people far (if not directly among family, through connections), superficiliaty (losing identity to gain opportunity), or the -isms (certain minorities STILL struggle to this day).

Now I've heard many a (self-righteous) celebrity say, "I created my own opportunity." or "to follow your dream, you must take chances." Well bump that! You take a chance, work hard, and nothing happens--then what?  You end up on the boulevard of broken dreams working a job that you are comfortable in but have no real connection with.

I believe in prayer and I believe in waiting on God's time but it's draining to cry night after night, try time after time, and wonder year after year if this is finally going to be your year.  I sit and watch person after person thrive and on the flip see news story after story of another life lost.  It's tough.  Why is it that some people shine and others fade out and where do I fit in? 

My career and life goals are steadily evolve but at this point I just want to be happy.  I know every day can't be filled with sunshine and smiley faces but these rain and clouds aren't cutting it either.

Sigh...estoy perdido (I am lost).  Just hoping my cries will be heard eventually and that someone up there willl finally here me.

Onward on the road to resilience...

The Reintroduction of Sorts...

Hello world.

This is a reintroduction of sorts since I'm merging a couple old blogs into this one. After letting previous blogs slip, I've decided to give this another shot. Whereas my previous blogs had a specific focus, this one's just about my life. Sometimes I feel like I'm just wading through the ocean of life.  I'm at a pinnacle age in my 20s where I'm supposed to have everything together or be well on my way.  However, I feel like I'm at the bottom of the hill just looking up--in career, love, and overall life.

A few weeks ago I made a decision to pause and reevaluate my life.  Needless to say, a few short weeks later I'm already panicking and feeling the angst of where to go next.  Things are pretty much at a standstill (or so it seems) and while I generally try to keep a positive mindset it's hard out here.

The road to resiliency continues....