Ah, summer time!  The time of year that many a magazine/advice column/etc will push as the best time for being single, especially in the nation’s capital.  The days are longer.  There are so many events.  Interns/fresh faces have arrived.  All valid points but for a single lady not used to/not interested in/out of practice with playing the “game”, this can be tough.  How do you meet new guys if the bar/lounge scene isn’t your scene?  How do you combat the feelings of wanting to stay in a shell, particularly if you’re still grappling with the distress of failed dates or haven’t been on a date in awhile?

Don’t get me wrong, I am THE advocate for women putting their best face forward and getting over a failed relationship ASAP.  But sometimes it’s so tough!  Even if you’ve accepted a relationship may be in fact done, the part of putting yourself back out there is tough.  Especially if you feel like you got hurt the most out of it all.  Sigh! 

Alas, all is not lost!  I think the biggest step to being fabulous and single in the summer is to consider the possibilities.  Don’t smirk or give side eyes to all the couples holding hands (believe me I’ve been there).  I will outline 2 possibilities. 

Embrace possibility #1: FASHION!  Summer is the time to be spectacular and the advantage goes to the ladies!  Dresses, skirts, bright/bold colors, shorts, off the shoulder shirts, tank tops, accessories, fun hair—those are a few of my favorite staples but the point is you can be you times 10!  Though summer means less fabric, you can still be confident and classy while not looking crazy in this heat.  Takeaway: Be comfortable!

Possibility #2: See and be seen.  Okay, so you’ve got your look down, now it’s time to hit the town! Err, WHAT?  Lol, No I don’t mean club it up.  If you’re like me, that’s the last thing you want to do.  But if you are like me than things like outdoor live music (I swoon for any kind of rhythmic jazz) or outdoor cafes with friends is right up your alley.  When you have a good time 1) you’re distracted from all the lovey-dovey couples and 2) you’re glowing from the inside and out and you never know whose watching you smile!

My goal for this summer is to work on being the best I can be at this moment.  While I won’t ever lower my standards or give up complete control, I just want to work on being *SLIGHTLY* less guarded and just have fun.  I’ll NEVER give up on love because I know I will one day meet the man who is also in the same state of mind as I.  Right now, I just want to expand my circle.  I think that’s the most important thing after a break up or even just a relationship/dating break.  Rather than rush into the arms of the next one (which may feel temporarily good but will only exacerbate heartache), I want to just get to know more people and learn more about myself, my interests, and just the art of interaction.  Love will come but LIFE is here and meant to be experienced to the fullest.  So no excuses, let your metaphoric hair down and do your thing!

If I can end this post with one message, one goal for summer, it would be to just BE!  Live, laugh, and most importantly have fun!  It's cliche but the BEST things DO come to those who wait.  Why settle for junk food when you can have the meal of a lifetime?

~One love~

Upcoming: Valentine's Day

So it’s one week from the big “LOVE” day—Valentine’s day.  Some say it’s just a commercial scheme while others argue that’s a day to truly show love, affection, and appreciation to someone you care about romantically.  My take?  I’m not opposed to Valentine’s day for couples.  In my observation, it is easy for people in relationships become too lax in showing affection and appreciation. 

While I’m certainly not saying Valentine’s day is the ONLY day to show love, that day (or week) is a nice reminder though.  It’s not only about February 14^th—what about a different day that week when it’s less crowded?  Heck, instead of bashing the retail and restaurant industries, thank them because those industries make it EASY.  Go to any grocery or retail store (ex: Target) and there are tons of cards to choose from.  Same thing goes with flowers, teddy bears, and chocolates/candy if your sweetie likes that kind of thing.  Date options are endless!  What makes a nice Valentine’s date in my opinion?  Creativity, thoughtfulness, and kindness!  Read on…

The token of affection

Depending on what you choose, this is THE best part because it comes from the heart.  My personal favorites are a card and a teddy bear.  A card is so flexible—you can make one, you can buy a blank one, or you can buy one that says all the things you think but don’t know how to write!  That’s right, there are card writers who create sweet sentiments just for someone like YOU.

I am a sensitive soul, so teddy bears are a favorite because they are long-lasting reminder throughout the year of the thoughtfulness and the cuddle times to come!   Unlike flowers (which are on my list as well), they won’t die after certain time. 

Some people like gifts and that is a nice gesture but for me not required—at least not initially J  Moving on…

Date night!

Grub time!
Hmm, restaurants abound!  My personal preference is a nice homemade (or at least semi-homemade) dinner BUT restaurants do offer the ability to get all dolled up for a night on a town.  Super-expensive restaurants are too pretentious and too cheap/casual restaurants are too impersonal.  That’s just me.  Just choose a nice spot, perhaps one that you both enjoyed in the past and go with it!

The activity portion

Dinner is nice but doing something together is nicer!  So people who know me will know that I love the arts!  Theater productions, dance performances, music concerts, cultural events, and museums are where you can usually find me in my spare time.  You know it I’m there!  The arts make for a wonderful date for the following reasons:

1) Sensory overload—the lights, the sounds, the content, so much to feast on aesthetically!

2) Conversation piece (and who doesn’t love when you’re on a date where you can actually communicate and have something fun and of substance to talk about!)
3) It’s something new and exciting

The arts make it easy because usually there are discounted rates/promotions going on around this time of year, so take advantage.   In DC, there are cool websites like: http://datenightsdc.washington.org/ to generate ideas from.  Also many museums and sights (think Smithsonian and National Mall monuments) are FREE, so no breaking the bank there!  In other cities, there is always some kind of cultural sight to partake in.  The most important thing is playing off the interests of your object of affection.  You know them better than any blog would, so go with that.  For me, an arts-based date would have me swooning but for someone else that could be rock climbing.

Again Valentine’s day should not be the one and only time you feel like your relationship is going well.  This should be an ongoing feeling.  However, it’s a nice time to REMIND the one you care about that you do in fact CARE and APPRECIATE their time.  I’m very big on showing people that you appreciate their presence in your life, otherwise what’s the point?

 All my single ladies (and gents)!

Ok, so this day can also remind people that they are single and without a romantic companion.  You are NOT alone!  For that I would say, just go about your day as usual.  As I discovered this year, many organizations (such as museums) host fun events for singles and couples alike.  Who knows?  You can meet your future date at one of these events.  Also usually the week/weekend before some venues host singles/dating events, which could be another option if you really don’t spend it with a valentine.  In fact it’s the perfect day for people watching.  Yes you will see some lovey-dovey couples but observe their body language (I’m all about human observation), is everything really rosy-cozy?  In some cases yes, in which case use that as inspiration that your prince/princess is out there.  But in the cases where people are going through the motions, be glad that you are living a more truthful life being single than being in a pretend relationship.

Chill with family, friends, go to dinner/make dinner top chef style at your house—whatever you do just have fun!

Last note—don’t wear black as a symbol of anti-Valentine’s day.  Just as I personally find red to be annoying, I feel as though a day out of the year shouldn’t dictate your outfit.  Rock whatever you’d like!  Be unique!

So all in all, give Valentine’s day a break.  At one point or another, we’ve all gotten excited about February 14^th, whether it was last year or way back in elementary school (remember those little Valentine’s cards and lollipops for school? Good times!).  Just commit to showing love everyday to the ONES (partner, family, friends) you love and if you do happen to be in a relationship, show that person some EXTRA love.  No matter how you show it (or who you show it to), appreciation is appreciation and who doesn’t appreciate that? J 

One love!